self-love Archives | HeartCore Transformation

I am a woman, just like you. A woman with dreams and aspirations, with goals and to-do lists to accomplish those goals. I want to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous. Just like you!

Sometimes I am also afraid, scared to take risks, and scared of rejection and disappointment. I worry about what people will think! I also messed up in my life. Some of those messes I will never be able to fix.

For most of my life, I felt like a DUD, (Damned Ugly Duckling)!

As a duckling, I did not fit in in the farm yard. Not in the school cliques, not in the hockey team. Not at the office or in the boardroom.

As a duckling in the farmyard of life, I was bullied too! I had to do things I did not really want to do. I had to be who I was not! …. I so had enough of “Duckie do this!”, “Duckie do that”, “Duckie, you shouldn’t”, Duckie, you have to…” I tried to duck out of it….. Many times I just wanted to shout “Duck off!”

I came to a place where I looked in the mirror like the ugly duckling looked at her reflection in the water of the pond, and I hated what I saw.

Then… one day… someone came to my aid and said: “Duckie, you are much more than you have become…” She said: “Duckie, I believe in you, you can do this!” The words “Duckie, the world is your oyster!“ was such an inspiration to me!

So, I put my big girl pants on and went on a journey! Not a journey out into the world, but a journey inward.

My wish for you is that you will go on this journey. Choose the road less traveled by. And go it alone. No baggage, no worries, no expectation!

On this journey you will discover that there are two important days in one’s life… the day you are born, and the day you find out why you were born. I figured out that my purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand! I can become the swan I am destined to be. I am not a DUD, not a heap of tangled feathers in the dirt.

But times of transformation are uncomfortable, and yuk – just like the time when the ugly ducking spend that dark and dreary winter hidden away in a makeshift shelter in the reeds. In those dark times, we work on our belief systems. We mend our relationships. We learn to stop sabotaging our success. We grow our confidence. We watch our language. We speak life over ourselves. We start to understand that we are enough!

We are more than the numbers on the scale! We are more than the price tag on our clothes. I learned that I was more than the mark on my math test and much, much more than the number of likes I got on Facebook.

As we go through trials and tribulations, we realize good things about ourselves. These realizations create ripples in the pond…it makes us expand our consciousness. And one day, when we look again… we are no longer ugly ducklings.

Dear one, you are a …. SWAN! Significant Woman, Acting Now! You do not have to play small in the world just to make sure others do not feel uncomfortable around you!

All we need to do is to remember that “being hatched in a duck’s nest, in a farm yard, is of no consequence to a woman if she is hatched from a swan’s egg!!”

Inside of you is a force, that knows that it knows, that it knows that you are nature’s greatest miracle. Accept the challenge to share your wisdom with all those searching for a wise, comforting voice…. I salute each one of you!

_{Source: Some of my phrases are reworked from much-loved books such as “The greatest salesman in the world” – Og Mandino.}

“Of all the judgments we pass in life,
none is as important as
the ones we pass on ourselves”.
Dr. Nataniel Branden

Self-esteem shows exactly how somebody feels about their own value as a person. It is all about how much you think you are worth as a person.
This is a subjective and emotional valuation you make about yourself. A persons self esteem shows whether they mostly feel like a victim or a winner.
Self esteem can be divided into three major categories:

People with low self-esteem think they are “below average”.
They do not believe in themselves, or trust in their own abilities. They do not think of
themselves as being “important” in the bigger scheme of things. When somebody suffers from low self esteem, it often shows up in poor relationships, addictions and depression and anxiety.

People who have high self-esteem find it easy to love and accept themselves.
They believe in themselves and their abilities. They have confidence in themselves no matter what challenge might be presented. People with high self esteem are able to be
authentic without the fear of being judged. They are ready to accept new challenges easily. They do not covet the approval of other people. It is a pleasure to be around people with high self esteem.

People with “inflated” self-esteem sometimes think of themselves as better
than other people. They almost always put themselves on a pedestal and other people in the pit. “Inflated” self esteem prevents people from forming meaningful and healthy relationships. Inflated self-esteemers want to be ahead of everybody else. Unfortunately, they do not mind hurting people to achieve the success they want.

When one has a healthy self esteem, you feel secure in your own being as well as in your environment. There is also a sense of belonging and a deep sense of purpose. Healthy self-esteemers believe that they are capable and that they make a valuable contribution to society. Having trust and being trusted is a key component of a healthy self esteem.
Much has been written about how to boost your confidence and how to boost your self esteem. Here are a few universal reminders about what to do to keep your self-esteem at a healthy level.

Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Tell yourself: “I trust that my life is getting better. I deserve it!”
Forgive yourself. Remind yourself: “It does not matter what I have done or what I did not do, I am worthy of being loved.”
Avoid ‘should’ and ‘must’ statements. Start your sentences with “I would love to…” instead.
Focus on the positive. Ask yourself: “What is the blessing or lesson here?”
Consider what you’ve learned. Remember that your wisdom cannot be taken away from you.
Encourage yourself. As quirky as it may sound, look yourself in the mirror and say: “I am proud of you!” You are doing a good job! Always remember, self-esteem is an inside job. You have to do the pep-talks yourself!

Tag: self-love

On becoming a swan

About Self-Esteem