“Of all the judgments we pass in life,
none is as important as
the ones we pass on ourselves”.
Dr. Nataniel Branden
Self-esteem shows exactly how somebody feels about their own value as a person. It is all about how much you think you are worth as a person.
This is a subjective and emotional valuation you make about yourself. A persons self esteem shows whether they mostly feel like a victim or a winner.
Self esteem can be divided into three major categories:
People with low self-esteem think they are “below average”.
They do not believe in themselves, or trust in their own abilities. They do not think of
themselves as being “important” in the bigger scheme of things. When somebody suffers from low self esteem, it often shows up in poor relationships, addictions and depression and anxiety.
People who have high self-esteem find it easy to love and accept themselves.
They believe in themselves and their abilities. They have confidence in themselves no matter what challenge might be presented. People with high self esteem are able to be
authentic without the fear of being judged. They are ready to accept new challenges easily. They do not covet the approval of other people. It is a pleasure to be around people with high self esteem.
People with “inflated” self-esteem sometimes think of themselves as better
than other people. They almost always put themselves on a pedestal and other people in the pit. “Inflated” self esteem prevents people from forming meaningful and healthy relationships. Inflated self-esteemers want to be ahead of everybody else. Unfortunately, they do not mind hurting people to achieve the success they want.
When one has a healthy self esteem, you feel secure in your own being as well as in your environment. There is also a sense of belonging and a deep sense of purpose. Healthy self-esteemers believe that they are capable and that they make a valuable contribution to society. Having trust and being trusted is a key component of a healthy self esteem.
Much has been written about how to boost your confidence and how to boost your self esteem. Here are a few universal reminders about what to do to keep your self-esteem at a healthy level.
- Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Tell yourself: “I trust that my life is getting better. I deserve it!”
- Forgive yourself. Remind yourself: “It does not matter what I have done or what I did not do, I am worthy of being loved.”
- Avoid ‘should’ and ‘must’ statements. Start your sentences with “I would love to…” instead.
- Focus on the positive. Ask yourself: “What is the blessing or lesson here?”
- Consider what you’ve learned. Remember that your wisdom cannot be taken away from you.
- Encourage yourself. As quirky as it may sound, look yourself in the mirror and say: “I am proud of you!” You are doing a good job! Always remember, self-esteem is an inside job. You have to do the pep-talks yourself!