Seven facts about fear

It is ok to be scared. None of us are fearless and brave all the time. All that is important is that you know what fear looks like and how to deal with it when it comes.

I read an interesting article recently.  It is titled “Seven things you need to know about fear.  It was an article published in psychology today.  I think the information shared in this article is worth sharing with you exactly as it is. According to this article, there are a few things we should know about fear:

1. Fear is a normal product of brain function.

Fear is hardwired in your brain, and for good reason: Neuroscientists have identified distinct networks that run from the depths of the limbic system all the way to the prefrontal cortex and back. When these networks are electrically or chemically stimulated, they produce fear, even in the absence of a fearful stimulus. Feeling fear is neither abnormal nor a sign of weakness: The capacity to be afraid is part of normal brain function. A lack of fear may be a sign of serious brain damage.

2. Fear comes in many shades and forms.

Fear is an inherently unpleasant experience that can range from mild to paralyzing—from anticipating the results of a medical check-up to hearing news of a deadly terrorist attack. Horrifying events can leave a permanent mark on your brain circuitry, which may require professional help. However, chronic stress, the low-intensity variety of fear expressed as free-floating anxiety, constant worry, and daily insecurity, can quietly but seriously harm your physical and mental health over time.

3. Fear is not as automatic as you think.

Fear is part instinct, partly learned, partly taught. Some fears are instinctive: Pain, for example, causes fear because of its implications for survival. Other fears are learned: We learn to be afraid of certain people, places, or situations because of negative associations and past experiences. A near-drowning incident, for example, may cause fear each time you get close to a body of water. Other fears are taught: Cultural norms often dictate whether something should be feared or not. Think, for example, about how certain social groups are feared and persecuted because of a societally-created impression that they are dangerous.

4. You don’t need to be in danger to be scared.

Fear can also be imagined, and so it can arise in the absence of something scary. Because our brains are so efficient, we begin to fear a range of stimuli that are not scary (conditioned fear) or not even present (anticipatory anxiety). We get scared because of what we imagine could happen. Some neuroscientists claim that humans are the most fearful creatures on the planet because of our ability to learn, think, and create fear in our minds. But this low-grade, objectless fear can turn into chronic anxiety about nothing specific and become debilitating.

5. The more scared you feel, the scarier things will seem.

Through a process called potentiation, your fear response is amplified if you are already in a state of fear. When you are primed for fear, even harmless events seem scary. If you are watching a documentary about venomous spiders, a tickle on your neck caused by, say, a loose thread in your sweater will startle you and make you jump out of your seat in terror. If you are afraid of flying, even the slightest turbulence will push your blood pressure through the roof of the plane. And the more worried you are about your job security, the more you will sweat it when your boss calls you in for even an uneventful meeting.

6. Fear dictates the actions you take.

Actions motivated by fear fall into four types—freeze, fight, flight, or fright. Freeze means you stop what you are doing and focus on the fearful stimulus to decide what to do next (e.g., you read a memo that your company will be laying off people). Next, you choose either fight or flight. You decide whether to deal with the threat directly (tell your boss why you shouldn’t be laid off) or work around it (start looking for another job). When the fear is overwhelming, you experience fright: You neither fight nor flee; in fact, you do nothing—well, you obsess about the layoffs, ruminate, and complain, but you take no action. Being continuously in fright mode can lead to hopelessness and depression.

7. The more real the threat, the more heroic your actions are.

We react differently to real and imagined threats. Imagined threats cause paralysis. Being scared about all the bad things that may or may not happen in the future makes you worry a lot but take little action. You are stuck in a state of fear, overwhelmed but not knowing what to do. Real threats, on the other hand, cause a frenzy. When the threat is imminent and identifiable, you jump to action immediately and without flinching. This is why people are much more likely to change their eating habits after a serious health scare (e.g., a heart attack) than after just reading statistics about the hazardous effect of a diet based on fried foods.

We all have fear, imagined or real, and sometimes both.  Our best course of action in a time of fearfulness and scare is to stay “in the moment”.  Say present and analyze, stay hopeful, and believe that fear is something you can conquer.

Sneer at fear!

Whenever I see or hear the word “fear”, Marian Williamson comes to mind: “…Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful…beyond measure! “She continues to say “Your playing small does not serve the world…”

Boy!  How fearful have we become? We find every reason to be scared and fearful. We fear the downturn in the economy, we fear the results of the pandemic on life as we know it… we fear life, because it is not what it used to be…we fear that we will not have enough stamina to wither the storm… Fear is paralysing the very essence of our beings.

And because we are fearful, we play small.

We take no risks, set no goals, dream about nothing, make no plans and we slowly shrink ourselves to a grain of sand in a mighty universe.

What we do not realise is that fear is an illusion.  Yes! we all know the acronym “False Evidence Appearing Real”. The false evidence, the things that we create in our minds to be unconquerable obstacles are not real at all, and if we would just apply ourselves, we would soon realise that we are powerful beyond measure, that we can achieve great things, and that we do matter in the bigger scheme of things.

The fears that stop us from playing big in the world are created in our heads. They don’t really exist!  We are literally imprisoned by imaginary walls that we created out of nothing! .

This makes me think about scenes that play themselves out in our country’s national parks. African antelope species such as impala, kudu, and blesbuck, are caught by men holding up large sheets of cloth. The animals see those sheets as impenetrable walls, and so they feel they have nowhere to run except into the waiting cages. If those animals knew about the nature of the cotton walls, their actions and their outcomes would be entirely different! But they don’t know – and their fear prevents them from finding out. (Courtesy of: https://www.uklifecoaching.org/conqueringfear.htm?nav=b)

Our fears are flimsy walls and we can easily conquer them.  Here is how:

Pretend that the fear does not exist

Fear comes in many forms. It can come from stinking thinking” (i.e. “I can’t do this,” “I am not good at this”. etc.). It comes from negative, drama-inducing, sensationalist media coverage. Did you notice that the media is mostly about doom and gloom? Eliminate (or at least drastically reduce) your exposure to fear-inducing entities (i.e. social media, newspapers, failure-conscious people, etc.).

Don’t give fear have time to think:

Your thoughts are powerful. Did you know that a single thought can be responsible for life or death in this world? My mentor always taught me this:  “What you think about, you bring about”. So if you are going to think, rather think about what it is that you want to attract into your life. Visualise them, shape and polish them until they are crystal clear in your mind. Crystal clear visions blinds fear!

Just concentrating on doing these two simple things, will greatly eliminate the hold that fear has on your life. But to make the decision to do this takes courage.  One has to have courage in the face of fear. When you are brave enough to make the decision to be courageous…. A superb piece of poetry from Guillaume Apollinaire comes to mind…

Come to the edge, he said.
They said: “We are afraid”.
Come to the edge, he said.
They came.
He pushed them… and they flew.


Don’t be limited by your limiting beliefs!

Limiting beliefs are as old as the mountains.  Almost every human being harbours a limiting belief at some point in their life.

Celestine Chua, in her blog “7 Limiting beliefs keeping you from living your best life” explains how a a strange limiting belief featured in the middle ages.  She says that during the late Medieval period, around the 15th century, a weird psychiatric disorder swept through Europe. Many people believed that they were made of glass.  They believed that they would  shatter into pieces with even the slightest of contact. This order was later named the “Glass delusion” and was duly recorded in the research journal History of Psychiatry.

It is said that people took great care to change their lifestyle habits.  They adjusted their behaviors, and even avoided human contact so that they won’t get “shattered.”

Now, most of you will probably find this glass belief stupid.  We obviously know that humans aren’t made of glass. After all, we are in physical contact with people every day — from brushing shoulders on the streets, to shaking hands, to hugging — and we certainly don’t see anyone exploding into smithereens on the street! It would seem silly that people would modify their life over such an irrational and misguided fear.

However, this belief was very real to the European people then. We know the glass belief is false today.  Nonetheless, have you ever wondered if you are carrying beliefs that are actually self-limiting — if not false — and are preventing you from living a great life?

The limiting beliefs we live with everyday:

Consider these seemingly benign statements that we say to ourselves on a daily basis:

“You must not tell the truth because you may get judged…”

“I don’t want to get close to this person lest my heart gets broken…”

“I refuse want to ask for what I want because, what if I get rejected?”

“You can’t trust people because you have been betrayed before…”

“I dare not pursue my dreams because I don’t know what I’d do if I fail…”

“They can’t do X because of Y…

“I can’t do A because of B…”

These statements are limiting beliefs that creep into our lives without even being noticed.

The only difference between us and the Medieval Europeans is that their belief was centered around physical contact, while our beliefs are centered around our emotions, relationships, and dreams. Deep down, we’re afraid that once our emotions get hurt, once we experience a heartbreak, or once we face a setback… we’ll shatter and die.

It does not have to be this way! One can change limiting beliefs.  It does not have to take years of lots of effort.  All it takes is a decision to change. That is what I did!   I just wrote down the beliefs that I wanted to change, replaced them with what I would rather want to believe and decided to believe those.

But for many it is not that easy to do it by yourself.  Great news! There are people who can help you identify the beliefs that is limiting your progress. They are trained to help you change them into workable beliefs with a process called Psych-K.