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Four things that are certain

I look at life these days, as I am sure many of you do too, and all I can think about is how much things have changed.  Not much is left of life as we knew it. And yes!  Change has always been with us.  Kids grow up, parents grow old, and friends come and go. But the change we have to get used to now is different. It is unpretentiously raw and real.

In all this turmoil, four things remain constant. Four things operate as universal laws, never to be altered, and never to be changed.

The first law is this:  Whoever comes into our lives is meant to come into our lives.  Whoever comes into our life is the right person. There is no coincidence when it comes to the people that we encounter everyday. Everyone has something for us to learn and remember. Everyone has something to contribute to our daily existence.

The second law is very specific. “The only thing that could have happened, happened“. There is no use in thinking “This should not have happened” or “This is what should have happened”. Nothing that happens in our lives, even the smallest of incidences, could have been otherwise.  What happens is always perfect.

I really struggled to get used to the mechanics of the third law. I had to learn that “every time I start is the right time”.  This took away my excuses about “Now is not the right time”.  I understood that the issue of it being the “wrong time” is just an excuse. There is an old saying that says “When the teacher is ready, the student appears”. When we are ready to start something, is when things start to happen.

The last law is the hardest.  When something is over, it is over. Poof!  When something comes to an end in our lives, it is because it served its purpose. When something ends or someone leaves, it happens so that we may move on and learn something new. That is also why it is so important that we cherish what we have while it lasts. We only have one chance of enjoying the benefits of the experience. It is a huge life lesson to remember that no drop of rain falls in the wrong place.

The secret is to life each moment as if it is our last. To cherish every moment because we will never have this moment again, to enjoy the company of the people in our lives because we never know when their job is done. Og Mandino, in his famous book “The Greatest salesman in the world” says, “I will greet this day with love in my heart” and “I will live this day as if it is my last.” I believe this is a pretty good way of navigating through live right now.  I hope you do too!

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Choose your words with care…

If there was ever a piece of music, theatre, or performing art, that made an impact on my life, it is the Theme from Time, as performed by Sir Lawrence Olivier. 

In the Dave Clark production “Time – the musical” that was performed in the Dominium theatre, in 1985, the Time Lord speaks to the People of Planet Earth.  It is as relevant now as it ever was:

The Theme from TIME ~

Stand before me on the Sign of Infinity all you of the Earth.
With the granting of the “Law of Probenation”
comes the application of change.
I will give you the key.
And with this knowledge, please realize,
comes the responsibility of sharing it.
I will show you the way (it’s very simple)

Throughout the Universe there is order.
In the movement of the planets…in nature…
and in the functioning of the human mind.
A mind that is in its natural state of order
is in harmony with the Universe,
and such a mind is timeless.
Your life is an expression of your mind.
You are a creator of your own Universe,
for as a human being you are “free to will”
whatever state of being you desire through the use of your thoughts and words.

There is great Power there.

It can be a blessing or a curse.

It’s entirely up to you, for the quality of your life
is brought about by the quality of your thinking.
Think about that.

Thoughts produce actions.
See the pettiness and the envy and the greed and the fear
and all the other attitudes that cause you pain and discomfort.
Realize that the one thing you have absolute control over is your attitude.
See the effect that it has on those around you,
for each life is linked to all Life and your words carry with them chain reactions like a stone that has been thrown into a pond.
If your thinking is in order, your words will flow directly from the heart,

…creating ripples of love.

If you truly want to change your world, my friends,
you must change your thinking.
Reason is your greatest tool.
It creates an atmosphere of understanding which leads to caring which is Love. Choose your words with care.
Go forth….with Love.

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Find joy in the little things

Be happy for the little things in life that require less to no reason at all. Smile because the weather is cheerfully warm. Smile because you had a pleasingly healthy breakfast. Smile because you’re listening to some of your favourite new songs on repeat. Smile because you are watering the pretty flowers just to keep them wonderful. Smile because happiness is simply the thing that inevitably happens when you practice being grateful. -Juansen Dizon

Image borrowed.

I love this quote by Juansen Dizon!  When life is hectic, we must remember the little things that make us happy.  It does not have to be big a-ha moments, no earth-shattering realisations… No!  Teeny-tiny little things that take almost no effort and cost almost nothing….

I love the smell of fresh bed linen when I slip under the covers at night. I love a good, hearty breakfast. Here are a few more ideas of little things that can, and will, make you happy. Do not underestimate the power of little things, such as:

  1. Looking up at the stars at night.  I love to see the milky way stretching across the sky!
  2. Having a steaming cup of coffee and a cinnamon bun with butter when it rains…
  3. Sitting in the window seat when traveling by plane…
  4. Spending time in nature.
  5. Realising that you are having a “good hair day”!
  6. Listening to the birds in the trees.
  7. Finding the last slice of pizza is still there when you get to the box in the morning.
  8. Having a heart-to-heart with a trusted friend.
  9. Finding that the bill is less than I expected.
  10. Feeling the warmth of my fur child in my bed at night.
  11. Seeing a rainbow.
  12. Hearing a dear friend’s voice on the phone.

There are so many little things that can make one happy.  Take some time and share your “little things” with us in the comments below.

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Do the little things

There is an ancient phrase that says: “If you really want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans”.  Nothing happens when we want it to happen.  It happens when we are ready and when the time is right.  Og Mandino says in one of his now famous scrolls in his book “The greatest salesman in the world”: “Never will you know how close success lies, unless you turn the corner.” 

I turn that corner by being grateful for every day as it arrives.  And as I wait for the right time for all the puzzle pieces to fit perfectly in the picture of my life, I carry on doing the little things that make a big difference!  It is the little things that we do or not do every day that determines where we will end up one day.

Let me share with you some of the little things I do to keep my inspiration on top form:

I examine what I believe about things. I do not just believe everything I hear and see. I ask lots of questions! When I find myself at a place where things did not quite work out the way I wanted it to, I take time to find out if I must change something I believe.  Limiting beliefs are my worst enemy and I know that I can change then in the blink of an eye.  All it takes is to make a new, empowering decision and a new reality can be mine in an instant.   

I give my mind the right nutrition. I am careful of the media.  I found that it is not my friend and never will be.  I do not watch movies that drag me down. No “Doomsday” movies for me!  I watch movies that makes me feel good. I listen to music that fills me with positive emotions. I read books that empower me, that I can learn from. Just so that you know – “Mills and Boons” and the “Sun” newspaper do not fall in this category. 

I steer clear of television, news and newspapers – the fear-mongers!  I believe that if there is something important, I need to know, I will be hearing about it through the right channels. 

I invest in a worthwhile hobby. There are so many stimulating, worthwhile activities out there to get involved with.  Enrol for a course in Philosophy, write a book, take dancing lessons!  The bottom line is… When we control the input to our brain, we control our output.

I focus on what I want in my life. I do not dwell on what I don’t want.  I try to remember the logics of the law of attraction.  I watch my language.  I learned early on that my words are mightier than swords. 

I constantly work on replacing phrases such as “I am dying for a cup of tea” with “I would really love to have a cup of tea”.  Replace “I would make a success of this venture, even if it kills me” with “I am so happy and grateful now that I know I have everything inside of me to make a success of this venture”.  We have the power to create the life of our dreams even if the world around us seems messed up. Don’t lose focus… watch your language and develop the habit of daily positive affirmations. 

I make a gratitude list.  At the end of each day, I write down at least ten things that I am grateful for or that made me happy on that particular day.

A wise man once told me: “When one is grateful for the things you have, you will have more things to be grateful for.

I find ways to get involved. Get involved with your community.  Jim Rohn says: “Service to many leads to greatness”.  As you help other people, you help yourself.  I practice forgiveness, compassion and understanding.  These are feel-good emotions.  Feel-good are good vibrations that build and sustains high levels of inspiration. 

The magic of inspiration is there for you and me to use and it does not need rocket science to accomplish.  Just a few small things, done consistently, will open the door to much more than just the inspiration you seek.  It will change your life!

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Inspired Inspiration

“Inspiration” has to do with those light bulb moments when I have a bright idea.  It has to do with those moments when I think of or do something unique and extraordinary.  Inspiration is a deep-down personal calling to do something huge and epic.  But I can only be inspired when I am breathing. 

Yes!  Breathing!  When you breathe, you can make things happen! A wise man once said that there are three types of people in this world:  The ones who make things happen, the ones who watch what happens and the ones who get to the station after the train has left… they wonder  “What the heck just happened and why?”.   Inspired people do not spend time wondering.  They make things happen. 

Inspiration is about genius.  We all have our own special brand of genius.  It is also about vision and I believe that most people have it.  Vision is closely related to having influence.  One’s influence depends on who you are and what your circumstances are.  Vision, genius and influence help us each to develop our own unique brand of inspiration.  We can all “make things happen”.  The Archaic meaning of inspire is “to breathe life into” something. 

People often ask:  “How do I keep myself inspired to keep on working towards my goals and make my dreams a reality?  When my inspiration loses steam, I remember some age-old wisdom.

I do not let my dreams be “crowd-funded”. 

My dreams and goals are specific to me, not a generic cut-and paste version of what everybody else wants. 

I don’t worry about what other people think. 

There are many well-meaning people in my life that have ideas about what I should and should not be doing with my life.  I must decide whether I should do what they want me to do, or do what I want to do.  I found that when I live my life according to someone else’s rules, I am almost always miserable and uninspired. 

I protect my excitement inspiration by not letting the dream stealers rain on my parade. I respect those that have different ideas to what I have but I talk about my dreams and goals with passion and conviction.  I remember the words of a wise man who once said:  “One man with conviction is a majority!”

I don’t worry about how things will turn out. 

Worry is a useless activity.  I remind myself often that “things” do not lead me to inspiration.  A new car will not make me more inspired.  A new glamorous job or a gorgeous partner will not inspire me! To be truly inspired, I must simply recognise every precious moment of life and make the best that I can of it.  Every moment is an inspiration, no matter what it looks like. 

Everything I need to know is already mine!

I have everything I need to know, for every moment in time, already filed in the cabinet in my head.  I can be “left to my own devices” and my own devices are sufficient for what I want to accomplish in my life.  This may sound strange to you.  The fact is that I came into this life with nothing, I go out of this life with nothing and I do not need anything to live my purpose on planet earth.  All that I will ever need to live an inspired life is in the space between my ears, which is connected directly with my heart.  The challenge is to believe it is there.

This idea is beautifully illustrated in the ancient story of David and Goliath.  David was inspired to slay the giant because he wanted to be somebody.  But he did not go onto the battlefield with a sword, a spear and a shield.  He went with a slingshot and a few pebbles and he still completed the task successfully and became somebody.  Our belief is more important than our pebbles and slingshots.

These four little reminders inspired me to make my own beautiful noise. Inspiration is a one-man band.  You have to make all the music yourself.  As soon as I realised that I have my own unique rhythm, and that I can make what ever noise I want to make, my life started having a sparkle it never had before.  Remember that your dreams and aspirations are your own, don’t worry about what others think, don’t worry about the outcome. Trust that you already have everything you need. Your life would be a symphony … if you choose it to be.

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Self-Confidence Supercharger

I don’t know about you, but sometimes my self-confidence is not what it could be.  Sometimes I am just not my vibrant, shiny, nothing-can-stop-me-self.  Here are some of the things I do when I have to polish my self-confidence.  It is easy to do and works wonders with a wilting confidence.  The more I do these things, the more my confidence lifts up it’s face to the sun again. You can do the same: 

Take some time out to groom yourself. It is amazing what a difference a nice shower and a shave, or a nice haircut and some make-up can make in your self-confidence. Paint your nails and dab on some perfume, even if you just do it for yourself.

Put something on that you feel good in. If you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone … it doesn’t necessarily mean wearing an expensive outfit.  Casual clothes that are presentable with perhaps an eye-catching pair of earrings can also work. .

“Photoshop” your self-image. We all have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture can be changed and edited to produce a better version of ourselves to ourself. Use your mental “Photoshopping” skills, and decide what you want to present to the world, what you want yourself to look like, sound like and be like.  Change happens in our minds first.

Keep your thoughts positive. Yes!  We hear this all the time! Become aware of how you talk to yourself and what you say to yourself.  Are you being “nice” to yourself or are you slamdunking yourself all the time?  It takes practice to identify and erase negative thoughts from your mind. It takes practise to replace those negative thoughts with “better-thinking thoughts.   I always have a bit of fun with negative thoughts and you can do the same. Imagine that a negative thought is a bug.  Be on the lookout for these bugs. When you see one, stomp on it! I find that sometimes actually physically stomping my foot when I have a negative thought helps me to create positive reminders to keep my thoughts positive. 

Speak slowly. The way you speak makes a big difference in how others perceive you. A person with authority speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that she isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because she doesn’t want to waste other people’s time. You are worth listening to.  Make your words count.

Always be kind and generous. Being kind to others, and generous with yourself, your time and what you have, is a tremendous way to improve your self-confidence. The old adage of “do onto others as you would like to be done to you” helps a lot to let you feel good about yourself.

There is so much that one can do to feel more confident out in the world.  Try these simple tips and see how it works out for you.  Be on the look out for more self-confidence tips.  They will be coming your way soon!

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About Self-Esteem

“Of all the judgments we pass in life,
none is as important as
the ones we pass on ourselves”.
Dr. Nataniel Branden

Self-esteem shows exactly how somebody feels about their own value as a person. It is all about how much you think you are worth as a person.
This is a subjective and emotional valuation you make about yourself. A persons self esteem shows whether they mostly feel like a victim or a winner.
Self esteem can be divided into three major categories:


People with low self-esteem think they are “below average”.
They do not believe in themselves, or trust in their own abilities. They do not think of
themselves as being “important” in the bigger scheme of things. When somebody suffers from low self esteem, it often shows up in poor relationships, addictions and depression and anxiety.


People who have high self-esteem find it easy to love and accept themselves.
They believe in themselves and their abilities. They have confidence in themselves no matter what challenge might be presented. People with high self esteem are able to be
authentic without the fear of being judged. They are ready to accept new challenges easily. They do not covet the approval of other people. It is a pleasure to be around people with high self esteem.

People with “inflated” self-esteem sometimes think of themselves as better
than other people. They almost always put themselves on a pedestal and other people in the pit. “Inflated” self esteem prevents people from forming meaningful and healthy relationships. Inflated self-esteemers want to be ahead of everybody else. Unfortunately, they do not mind hurting people to achieve the success they want.

When one has a healthy self esteem, you feel secure in your own being as well as in your environment. There is also a sense of belonging and a deep sense of purpose. Healthy self-esteemers believe that they are capable and that they make a valuable contribution to society. Having trust and being trusted is a key component of a healthy self esteem.
Much has been written about how to boost your confidence and how to boost your self esteem. Here are a few universal reminders about what to do to keep your self-esteem at a healthy level.

  1. Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Tell yourself: “I trust that my life is getting better. I deserve it!”
  2. Forgive yourself. Remind yourself: “It does not matter what I have done or what I did not do, I am worthy of being loved.”
  3. Avoid ‘should’ and ‘must’ statements. Start your sentences with “I would love to…” instead.
  4. Focus on the positive. Ask yourself: “What is the blessing or lesson here?”
  5. Consider what you’ve learned. Remember that your wisdom cannot be taken away from you.
  6. Encourage yourself. As quirky as it may sound, look yourself in the mirror and say: “I am proud of you!” You are doing a good job! Always remember, self-esteem is an inside job. You have to do the pep-talks yourself!
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The Power of your Subconsious Mind

The book, “The Power of your Subconsious Mind” by Joseph Murphy, was given to me as a gift two weeks ago. The same book has been sitting on my shelf for quite a while.  This weekend  I decided to read it once again to see what new information I can gain from it.

I thought I would share some of my insights in the last few days:

 

You Receive Answers To Prayer Because Of your Mental Acceptance About What You Pray

Murphy says that it is not what you belief or what your religion is that makes your prayer effective. Rather, it is based on your ability and willingness to accept and actually claim for yourself what you pray. My understanding is that whatever you can accept on a conscious level has to be accepted by your subconscious mind as well.

Something else that really gripped me was the statement: “the subconscious mind is subject to the conscious mind.” That means that you can train your subconscious mind to believe what you can accept on a conscious level, in your conscious mind.

Your Subconscious Mind Has The Answer To All Your Problems

This statement speaks about the power and the wisdom of the subconscious mind. You don’t need to look outside for the answers you seek. You can look inside yourself, and pose questions to your subconscious mind.

The answers may not come immediately, but your mind is always working on problems you submit to it even when you’re doing other things.  It will eventually present to you an answer.

Faith Is The Only Universal Healing Principle Operating Through Everybody

I believe what Joseph Murphy is referring to here is that faith is created by accessing and harnessing the power of our subconscious minds. Illness, physical ailments, and even traumatic experiences can be healed by repeatedly submitting thoughts of healing to our subconscious minds.

According to Murphy, there is no other way one can be healed accept through one’s subconscious mind. Faith is the universal healing principle. Of course, I don’t think he discounts the importance of medicine and other orthodox cures.   I have to guess that he is referring to instances of (miraculous) healing that have occurred in so-called “healing services”, churches, or religious gatherings.

If A Prayer Is Answered, It Is Answered Scientifically

There seems to be a formula to ensure that prayers are answered. Murphy explains that “science” means knowledge that is coordinated, arranged and systematized. It is therefore safe to assume that we can cooperate with our subconscious minds to make sure that more of our prayers answered.

If anything, the entire book sheds light on how little attention and thought we give to our subconscious minds, and what fantastic tools they are in helping us achieve ends that we desire to see in our lives.

Don’t Compel Your Subconscious Mind To Accept Your Idea By Willpower

Although Murphy does talk about presenting positive thoughts and images to our subconscious minds, he is also quick to caution us that we can’t force things. Our willpower is limited, and it continues to decrease and diminish throughout the day. Can you imagine how tiring it would be to force yourself to think the same things and visualize the same images all day long?

I think the idea is that we can plant seeds (thoughts) and nurture them.  It would not help if we are constantly uncovering the soil to see how our seeds are doing. We have to keep pulling the weeds and watering the seed. All of that may require a disciplined daily investment, but it shouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes. Once you have  deposited a request, in the form of a prayer, to your subconscious mind, you must have faith that it would come to pass. “Checking the roots” all the time is a sign of no faith.

What goes on in your mind determines what your world look like.

Whether or not you subscribe to Murphy’s theology, I think this is something we can all agree on. What goes into your mind is hugely important. As the old adage goes: As a man thinketh, so is he!”  If you choose poorly, you’ll assimilate bad attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts. Choose well, and you’ll begin to see positive changes within yourself.

What world do you want to live in? Have you thought about it? If you aren’t sure what you want to achieve in your lifetime, it makes it much harder to select input that will assist you on your journey. If you are fully in alignment with your objectives, choosing the right input becomes much easier.

In closing

I take notes with every book I read.  To me, reading is not just reading but also applying what I read.  I have described these ideas in my own language and from my own perspective. This is how  I have understood it from my reading. The author may or may not agree with what I have said, but Joseph Murphy is no longer with us.  Hopefully I have done a reasonably good job of explaining the insights that I uncovered in my reading.

If what you read here was of any interest to you, I would suggest you read the book for yourself.

You can also send me an email at  at: info@heartcoretransformation.co.za if you have any questions. I’d be happy to share with you some other things I’ve learned from this book.

 

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Hypnotherapy explained!

There are many people who do not know what hypnotherapy is. Frankly, they are too scared to find out.  They are scared there is some underworldly voo-doo who-do involved.  Well, I decided to give you some information about this alternative healing modality.

There are many different types of hypnotherapy. I will discuss the types that I use in my own practice.

Clinical hypnotherapy

Clinical hypnotherapy is where a person receives hypnotherapy from a qualified hypnotherapist with a healthcare background. A clinical hypnotherapist is a licensed clinician who can use the practice to treat a range of medical and psychological conditions.

I use hypnotherapy to help people to lose weight and to stop smoking, for overcoming phobias and for building confidence and self-esteem.

Hypnotherapy and NLP

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) explores the relationship between language, behaviour and excellence. It is a model used to identify and analyse the linguistic patterns used subconsciously.  Many people use it to produce a recipe for excellence for themselves.

An NLP practitioner will look at your attitude and your use of language.  They look at  your understanding of relationships and how you build a rapport with people.  They also explore the physical and emotional states that are best for accomplishing a task. Effective communication and perception of others and ourselves are key focuses.  All these are examined so that strategies for improving understanding, motivation, learning and remembering can be formed.

Many hypnotherapists train in NLP in order to help themselves communicate more effectively with their clients.  It also helps their clients communicate more effectively with themselves.

I use neuro-linguistic programming to help people set up for themselves physical and psychological anchors to assist them in challenging situations.

Time Line Therapy™ 

Time Line Therapy™ is a hypnotic approach that derives from NLP. It is based on the concept that our unconscious mind stores memories in a linear pattern – like a time line – which is essentially a mental photo album of our life. Time Line therapists use a variety of techniques to unconsciously help clients release negative emotions and limiting beliefs linked to past experiences in order to facilitate long-term transformation and better mind-body health. Time Line Therapy™ is considered particularly useful for helping people to overcome symptoms of depression, stress and anxiety, and tends to achieve quick results.

I use time-line therapy to dissolve anger, resentment and feelings of worthlessness. Through a time-line process, a person can uncover and identify his fundamental life operating principle, the core belief that runs your life. Through a time-line process, these core beliefs can be changed into a more workable belief and perception of life.

Does everyone respond to hypnotherapy?

Hypnosis has the capacity to work for the majority of individuals but some are more susceptible to suggestions than others. The most important thing to remember is that you must be fully committed to the process and feel that you can place your trust in your hypnotherapist. It’s also important to keep an open mind, as any scepticism may subconsciously dampen your susceptibility.

** Dr Elize Ellis is a registered hypnotherapist, registered with the Robert Shields Academy for Hypnotherapy and she is a member of MAEPH )Member of the Association of Ethical and Professional Hypnotherapists)

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